(With examples of practical application of the steps)

A CGA RECOVERY GUIDE

Copyright © 2003 by

Criminals & Gangmembers Anonymous, Inc.

All Rights Reserved

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IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO THE READER

This booklet is only intended as a brief overview of the CGA Twelve Steps.  No CGA literature is intended to take the place of or be more effective than a CGA Twelve Step Sponsor who has trudged the path of recovery and lives according to the practical use of the CGA Twelve Steps.

The Twelve Steps are not meant to be merely learned or memorized.  These steps are intended to be utilized in one’s life to aid them in changing their behavior and transforming their character along spiritual lines.

This booklet includes simple charts as “guides to understanding” how the CGA Twelve Steps have simple direct meaning and will require an individual to take action in changing the course of their lives if they have a sincere desire to find recovery from the lifestyle addiction to illegal activity.  Additional CGA literature is available with more detailed discussion and explanations about the practical meaning and use of the CGA Twelve Steps.

- Richard M.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Important Message To The Reader i

Table of Contents ii

We are…CGA…Criminals & Gangmembers Anonymous 1

What is the Lifestyle Addiction 1

The Lifestyle Addiction Chart 2

Step One 3,4,5,6

Step One Chart 7

Step Two 8,9

Step Two Chart 10

Step Three 11,12

Step Three Chart 13

Step Four 14,15

Step Four Inventory Sheets 16,17,18

Step Five 19,20

Step Five Chart 21

Step Six 22,23

Step Six Chart 24

Step Seven 25,26

Step Seven Chart 27

Step Eight 28,29

Step Eight Chart 30

Step Nine 31,32

Step Nine Chart 33

Step Ten 34,35

Step Ten Chart 36

Step Eleven 37,38

Step Eleven Chart 39

Step Twelve 40,41

Step Twelve Chart 42

History Reveals These Facts 43

May These Truths Always Be Kept True 44

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WE ARE…CGA… CRIMINALS AND GANGMEMBERS ANONYMOUS…

Whether criminals or gangmembers we all seek to recover from our common problems of being addicted to illegal activity.  We are anonymous because of our criminal lifestyles.  We need to protect our privacy while we strive to recover from our problems in a safe environment amongst others like us.  We need to be able to speak openly and honestly with those who understand the lifestyle.  We realize our problems are ugly and ruthless, but we are people with the capacity to change through CGA.  So while we do, we share our experiences among each other, find solutions and support each other through a change process because we understand each others needs and care enough to help each other.

WHAT IS THE LIFESTYLE ADDICTION?

The lifestyle addiction defines our common problem: being addicted to some form of illegal activity, no matter our choice of lifestyle.  Some of us are in professional business, religion, law enforcement, or simply those who live day-by-day without legal employment.  We all commit crimes for money, personal pleasure or for self-gratification.  Any person who is trapped in the grips of an addiction cycle know what they feel they want or need is persistently irresistible until they act… then, they can’t help but repeat it at some point.  It is what we refer to in CGA as the person’s “crime of choice”.  This primary addiction can become linked to committing other crimes together in concert just to achieve a desired illegal goal to satisfy the individual.

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CRIMINALS & GANGMEMBERS ANONYMOUS

THE LIFESTYLE ADDICTION CHART

THE LIFESTYLE ADDICTION TO CRIMINALITY

#1

OBSESSION

The irresistible and persistent idea, desire or emotional rush to do something, or that we need something until we convince ourselves to act.

#2

COMPULSION

To act on the persistent idea, desire or emotion, repeating the act over and over again, justifying the action with the continuing force of ongoing obsession.

#3

PROGRESSION

The longer we repeat the act the cycle spins out of control getting worse.

CULTURAL INFLUENCES:

The power of persons and the things they do, such as beliefs, interests, customs and habits that are passed along in some form of communication that influences the beliefs, thinking, development, behavior and habits of those in the next generation that follows.

GANGMEMBERS:

Two or more more individuals with or without a group name who associate with each other following destructive beliefs and whose behavior, actions and habits are centered around illegal activity.

DELINQUENTS:

Those who have a normal hostile attitude, acting out in aggressive ways to those in authority. Those who neglect to follow rules, and intentionally refuse to obey laws.

VANDALISM:

Those who take or destroy private or public property with full intentionsof, or sometimes without knowledge of causing unlawful harm, pain, injury or distress to others.

THEFT:

Those who steal, commit robbery or burglary taking property or possessions without legal consent through violence, deceit, trespassing or intimidation.

WHITE COLLAR CRIMES:

Those who commit fraud, embezzlement and other crimes through deceiving, misrepresenting the truth or abuse of property inside the workplace no matter what business or profession.

SUBSTANCE ABUSE:

Those who use alcohol or drugs of any ttype repeatedly and frequently until it becomes a destructive habit causing harm, injury or death to oneself or others.

SEXUAL DYSFUNCTIONS:

Those who wrongfully use or misuse sexual activities for personal pleasure, while hurting, mistreating, injuring, insulting, abusing excessively another without consent or decency and no respect for their rights..

DEALERS:

Those who sell or buy and sell merchandise, drugs, sex, weapons, cars, propery and people through illegal means for profit and personal gain.

VIOLENT CRIMES:

Those who intentionally act out with great physical force to injure, damage or destroy to obtain control, cause fear or self-gratification through aggression, inside the home, workplace, public place, etc.

There is one addiction to criminality although we can intermix activity connecting any two or more crimes together at any time. These ten categories are only the most common; what we do as criminals is not restricted to these crimes alone.

Copyright © 2002 by

Criminals & Gangmembers Anonymous, Inc.

All Rights Reserved

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STEP 1:

We reviewed our past, admitting a lack of strength and control over our addictions to all forms of illegal activity; and that our lifestyle was not decent nor manageable.

We reviewed our past…

It would be ridiculous to admit to anything if we don’t agree that we have a problem.  If we do realize we have a problem while not understanding why the problem exists, the admission remains useless.  And if we simply admit to something because other people say we have a problem or we admit to something simply to make it appear we’re sincere is meaningless.

In CGA’s Step One, we know its crucial for the person entering a recovering process to identify there is a problem for themselves, about themselves.  We believe our own past history is a mirror reflection of the facts we cannot dispute or deny.  Once we review our past our admission will clearly be understood and accepted as truth.  When reviewing our past, this is not an inventory.  We are simply looking back to isolate and evaluate a pattern of behavior (the routine practice of committing a particular crime of choice.)

…admitting a lack of strength and control over our addictions to all forms or illegal activity:

Some of us struggle with the possibility that we are not as strong as we’d like to think we are.  Others are quick to resist any suggestion that we are not in full control of our thinking and behavior.  These false notions are common beliefs causing a stubborn attitude.  Yet, we find that anyone who enters CGA recovery rarely understands what addiction means and how this confusingly dangerous cycle works.  That’s why no matter how noble or simple our lifestyles maybe, we share in common the inability to stop committing our choice or choices of illegal activity.  Addiction is simply a habit and a habit is something we repeat over and over that has become automatic.  Addiction has no conscience, nor compassion.

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STEP ONE CONTINUED:

Addiction is lethal, self-serving and always craves something.

The addiction, no matter to what choice of crime (theft, violence, gang involvement, substance abuse, sexual dysfunctions, etc.) starts in our minds with what is called an obsession.  This obsession should not be mistaken as a normal thought.  It is human nature to think and thoughts come and go moment by moment.  An obsession greatly differs, because it is a persistent, nagging idea, desire or emotional rush that we can’t seem to get rid of.  And within this obsession, we become isolated on one or more of these components of the obsession:

A persistent idea that we want or need something and we convince ourselves we deserve it, we are too smart to get caught and its only this one time, its not a habit.

A persistent desire that we want or need something and we convince ourselves we deserve it, we are too smart to get caught, and we only want it once, its not a habit.

A persistent emotional rush that we want or need to do something or have something, and we convince ourselves we deserve it, we are too smart to get caught and we’ll only do it once, its not a habit.

It is always one or more of these components of the obsession (idea, desire or emotional rush) that pushes us and we give ourselves permission to move directly into the compulsion stage of the addiction cycle that immediately follows an obsession.  The compulsion turns the obsession into an irresistible action and once we act, we are sure to repeat doing whatever crime we committed.  Sometimes we’ll repeat committing the crime during the course of one day, or it will be repeated within days or weeks.  But for sure we’ll repeat it, because the obsession will return to mind again, strong and powerful.  Each time we act out illegally we lack the ability to control our behavior rationally.

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STEP ONE CONTINUED:

Once we commit the crime and justify repeating it, we’ll began to do the crime over and over more frequently.  This is what we find as the third stage of the addiction cycle, known as progression.  We will persistently repeat a crime (or a series of crimes together in concert) so often that we are out of control and our problem with illegal activity has progressively gotten worse.  It is this vicious cycle of addiction we can not take for granted, neither neglect to keep in mind as we journey through the 12 step process, because this addiction cycle is what’s ugly, not us, as humans.  We will learn to separate the two (addiction and ourselves) as we go through a recovering process in CGA.

…and that our lifestyle was not decent nor manageable.

This third part of CGA’s Step One does not leave any room for argument, debate or denial of the fact we lacked strength and control over our addiction of choice.  This fact is made indisputable in three ways:

1. No matter our choice of illegal activity, we damage or destroy relationships with others.  Unfortunately the relationships we seem to damage first and worse are those people close to us.  But we don’t stop with them.  We kept on stepping on the lives of others with no empathy or compassion.

2. We proved to be irresponsible.  What we had, was never enough, so we committed crimes to get more.  If we didn’t have much, we decided it was easier and faster to take from others instead of earning a legal decent living.  Others simply wanted to satisfy their emotional or physical pleasure with no regard for those affected.  We all blamed everyone else for our problems, not ourselves.

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STEP ONE CONTINUED:

Some of us claimed to know religion, yet practiced it poorly.   Many of us called upon God for help, but always after we got caught, never needing God before our during the commission of a crime.  Others were filled with too many misconceptions about God so they preferred believing they were created to be in charge.  Each of us failed miserably in realizing God understands us, yet we never sought to learn to understand ourselves.

Now  we should not have any doubt that our lifestyle was not decent or manageable.  We flat refused to live according to normal standards.  We lived by our own criminal constitution, a warped belief system that gave us permission to be irresponsible and disregard the rights and freedoms of others.

Even at this moment we realize that many people who once trusted us had to learn the hard way that we were not trustworthy.  These once valuable relationships are now shattered.  We lied, cheated and stole; we broke promises that we never intended to keep.  We inflicted such pain and injury upon others.  We simply did not know how to stop.

Aware of these facts, knowing our lifestyle problems were driven by the power of addiction and now coming to understand the cycle of addiction, we come to realize there is a need to change.  Some of us tried other methods to modify our thinking and behavior, but we failed. Most of us called out to God, but only after we made a mess and needed a rope to climb out.

In CGA we understand what the criminal or gangmember feels because our groups are composed of criminals no matter their chosen lifestyle.  Change is possible in CGA and we believe that being responsible for ourselves will make change happen.

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STEP ONE CHART

A PROBLEM EXISTS

We review our past to identify a pattern of behavior (a regular way of acting or doing something) that was illegal.  You gave yourself permission to commit a crime by convincing yourself you needed something; deserved it and could get away with it.  Isolate one particular crime of choice, now recall the first time you did it, how you gained self-gratification from doing it, repeated committing the crime at some point and before long you were repeating the crime over and over again until eventually you got out of control.

WHAT CAUSES THE PROBLEM - THE CYCLE OF ADDICTION

The addiction is the reason we commit a crime repeatedly and the crime itself is some illegal act that we enjoy for self-gratification.  The cycle of addiction is powerful because it has three components (parts) that work together: (1) OBSESSION - is a persistent idea, desire or emotion that cannot be gotten rid of by normal reasoning.  (2) COMPULSION - it is a irresistible driving force to perform some illegal act and once the irrational impulse is started we repeat it, over and over.  (3) PROGRESSION - is the fact our criminal behavior moves forward, continuing by successive steps getting worse and out of control.

THE AFFECTS OF ADDICTION - THE IMPACT OF THE PROBLEM

The addiction proves its strength and control over us in three main ways: (1) We damage or destroy most all relationships with family, friends, co-workers and those in the public.  (2) We become extremely irresponsible people, blaming others, making excuses to avoid getting help for our problems. (3) Any spiritual beliefs or practices are blocked and disregarded altogether during the time frame when addiction is active and the person is locked in a tunnel view of committing a crime and gaining satisfaction.

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STEP 2:

We became willing to believe that change is possible, by learning a different way of living through suggestions from those who have trudged the path of recovery before us out of insanity.

We became willing to believe that change is possible…

No one simply walks into a CGA group meeting for the first time believing change is possible for themselves.  Actually, most people who come to their first meeting do not believe or understand they have a problem; and its more accurate to say they blame everyone else for any problems they might encounter.  The new comer does come to realize change is possible from those who are participating in CGA.  The new comer will hear common similarities while struggling too, with differences caused by their lack of understanding at this point.  Then gradually, as the individual applies self-honesty, becoming  open-minded to the process of change, they hear and observe the course others have taken before them; and then they become willing to explore the possibility of change more seriously by seeking out the experienced guidance of a CGA 12 step sponsor.

…by learning a different way of living through suggestions from those who have trudged the path of recover before us….

Although change is made possible, change is not initially easy because change represents adapting to a different manner of thinking and living completely opposite in conflict with everything we are used to, with respect to our destructive lifestyle and the power of addiction still near and threatening.  It is important for everyone to remember during early recovery that change is not an overnight adventure.  Change in character and behavior comes gradually as we become open to accepting a different way to treat ourselves and others and slowly feel that our lives hold meaning and purpose.  The support we need will come from those within our CGA fellowship.  People will reach out if the new comer is willing to accept their help and guidance.

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STEP TWO CONTINUED

…before us out of insanity…

The next key part of Step two is the coming of faith that God has been, continues to be and shall always remain present in our lives and through the mysterious movement of our recovery process.  God trusts that we will have courage to be responsible enough to seek the guidance of a CGA sponsor to guide us through the removal of evil from our character by being willing to undergo a thorough transformation of character that is a journey a long spiritual lines leading toward God’s peace and compassion.  God understands that we are people who need someone to walk with us through recovery, that we can see, touch and hear, Someone with the integrity of the spiritual path that will remind us about learning to adapt to God’s will when we will surely try to make excuses or take a very easy approach to change that will be like plastic instead of solid steel.  This entire journey, beyond our limited comprehension is a path which offers us to find and develop a private, personal relationship with God, and live a life of contentment in an imperfect world to freely spread good will wherever, whenever we can, as we grow and change.

Realizing this recovery process is completely unfamiliar to us, we seek the guidance and experience of someone in CGA  who is familiar with the recovery process because they have went through the 12 steps to repair the damage in their lives, then they learned how to practically apply the CGA 12 steps.  Now this person is one who goes beyond just having knowledge to one who is actually living recovery in their lives.  You select the person you are comfortable with, one who sets a example that change is possible.

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STEP TWO CHART

WE BECAME WILLING TO BELIEVE…

It is extremely rare for anyone to come into a recovery group believing they can change because most feel they don’t need to change - its everyone else that’s a problem.  Most also come for the first time with little or no faith in anything nor trust in anyone.  When the person becomes open-minded to explore the possibility that change is possible it will come through what they see and hear others in the group share from their honest experiences.  Motivation or inspiration to change comes through similarities one finds with others attending the group meeting that set a better example of change being possible when they leave the meetings and return to normal living outside of the group meeting setting.

…THROUGH SUGGESTIONS FROM THOSE WHO HAVE TRUDGED THE PATH OF RECOVERY OUT OF INSANITY…

At some point the individual will decide for themselves to approach their recovery more serious and seek the guidance of a twelve step sponsor who has experience in CGA recovery from first hand experience of going through the steps and now are living the steps in their lives.  When the person seeks a sponsor to guide them through the CGA 12 steps, their personal recovery will begin to develop, their level of understanding will deepen and change will gradually occur in their character.

OUR CGA PROGRAM ROOTED IN SPIRITUALITY

We believe God is the source and movement of life, and surely of CGA and those who willingly carry the message as servants of God.  We also believe we must allow freedom for the individual to believe as they choose to without argument or debate.  We ask that the new comer follow the good orderly direction of the CGA fellowship and the guidance of a 12 step CGA sponsor.  We encourage the individual to become open to developing a private personal relationship with God.  The realm of the spiritual is an invitation to all, excluding no one truly seeking.

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STEP 3:

We made a decision to let go of destructive self-will, in exchange for spiritual principles, becoming willing to seek God’s care and protection, as we understood God.

Here, in Step three represents the key to our success or continued failure.  It is the introduction to the spiritual nature of our recovering process.  We must understand that self-will does imply a stubborn, persistent way of doing something.  Yet, self-will standing alone does not mean much, until it is qualified between two opposites (good or evil) which we know from personal experiences is between destructive self-will (evil) and spiritual principles (good).  To qualify self-will, requires the realization that we have been rightly blessed with free-will which is our ability to make choices and decisions between good or evil…right or wrong.

We made a decision to let go of destructive self-will…

Breaking old habits and picking up new habits is a gradual, unfamiliar process.  The key for us at this early stage is to become willing.  We give ourselves permission to let go of any thoughts, words or actions that have the potential of causing problems for ourselves or others.  Although it will be awkward for awhile letting go of rigid beliefs, manners and habits, our willingness to do so is our proof that we are sincere in our efforts of taking action to change our character and lifestyle.

…in exchange for spiritual principles…

It is a natural response that every action has another response.  (If we are angry, the opposite is calmness; if we are dishonest, the opposite is honesty; if we are prejudice, the opposite is unbiased; if we are irresponsible, the opposite is responsible, and if we are doing evil/wrong, the opposite is good/right, etc.)  Whatever we do good is a sign of our spiritual awareness.

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STEP THREE CONTINUED:

…becoming willing to seek God’s care and protection, as we understood God.

Whether our religious beliefs are in tact or whether we are filled with doubts and misconceptions based upon past experiences, this is the area of the third step where faith and trust is developed.  In CGA we have come to realize this is the beginning of our seeking a private, personal relationship with God.  Each time we are confronted with the opportunity to make a choice and decision that we are not used to making, in those instant moments of fear, anxiety or uncertainty, we ask God to show concern and protect us as we begin learning to make more responsible choices and decisions that are good and decent rather than challenging or wrong to others.  It is not a practice of trying to predict a certain favorable outcome or to tell God to be responsible for us.  It is a major change in our characters as we begin to treat ourselves and others with dignity and compassion that is deserved.

God loves us as any parent loves their children.  But any parent knows that love also means teaching their children to be responsible and accountable for their behavior and actions.  Why should we expect anything less from God’s will for us?

Isn’t it time we begin showing that we have the capacity to love in a responsible way rather than continue living selfish and self-centered?  Why would we expect to go through our recovery process expecting God to do everything we’ve always made choices and decisions to fail doing for ourselves?  Step One clearly helped us to establish beyond a doubt that we are the source of our problems.  So now we should become the driving force of the solution, without any short-cuts or excuses.

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STEP THREE CHART

WE MADE A DECISION TO LET GO OF DESTRUCTIVE SELF-WILL…

We can not change anything unless we make a personal decision to act.  What we fail to change we can only be certain will be repeated over and over.  In Step One we know how destructive we have lived.  If we intend to recover, we have to begin to make changes in our attitude, then our behavior naturally follows with changes.  Our past histories prove that destructive self-will does not bring any good results.

…IN EXCHANGE FOR SPIRITUAL PRINCIPLES…

We have the gift of free-will to make choices and decisions between good/right or evil/wrong.  The first brings peace and harmony and the opposite brings pain and destruction.  Obviously we know it was of our own free-will to choose evil wrongdoing as our past histories reveal.  Yet, we also have struggled in guilt or shame afterwards which is a sign we were at battle between good and evil.  Now we will improve our choices and decisions to began doing what is right and good for ourselves and as we do, we naturally affect those around us.

…BECOMING WILLING TO SEEK GOD’S CARE AND PROTECTION…

It will be awkward doing good when we are used to doing wrong.  Our ego’s will deceive us and try to convince us that we are weak to act good or decent.  We are actually learning it is weak to do wrong, taking the easy way out.  So we ask God to care and protect us as we move in this awkward behavior or action to make better choices and decisions.  It is a matter of faith not debate.  As you take action toward being decent God acts in His own mysterious way to protect you through His compassionate concern.

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STEP 4:

We searched our past thoroughly, making inventory lists of the good we have done and our wrongs and resentments towards others.

Prior to this step, we have had many unanswered questions, about ourselves, why or how we became addicted, why we act certain ways, why we hurt, injured or destroyed so much, too often.  We have also held on to poison resentments toward others and feel we can never forgive.  There is so much we do not talk about, and so much we truly do not understand about ourselves, others, life and the realm of the spiritual.  Recovery can not begin nor be made possible without this step.  The personal inventory can not be avoided, or genuine change can not be possible.

We searched our past thoroughly…

This inventory is a map that outlines the past to the present.  Once the person begins recording on their inventory sheets it may appear like a maze of confusion.  Then as one continues to list instances from the past, a pattern begins to unfold and the unanswered pieces began to fit.  However, our only goal in Step Four is to make the inventory list starting as far back as we can remember.  Specific dates, times, or recalling full names of people is not important.  Yet, it is important to list the facts, without details.

…making inventory lists of the good we have done and our wrongs and resentments towards others.

This inventory includes three separate lists:  (1) the good things we have done, (2) the wrongs we have done, and (3) our resentments towards others.  (Sample inventory sheets are provided following the completion of the 4th step explanation.)  As events are recalled to mind, list them in the order you remember.  It is important to do it that way instead of trying to list everything in a numerical sequence.

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STEP FOUR CONTINUED:

It is also crucial to know these inventory sheets are not to leave your possession.  The person only shares the contents of the inventory sheets in Step Five.  The more accurate and thorough the individual can be in their 4th step inventory, the better the results will ultimately be as they continue proceeding through the steps.

A common question that arises is why write down all the events of the past to the present?  The reason is, it helps to examine our life experiences and for the first time see a clear pattern of behavior.  Writing the facts down on paper also makes it easy to have a set agenda for admission and discussion in Step Five.  We find too, how serious our problems are as we establish how consistently we hurt so many people in so many different ways and how our behavior kept progressively getting worse.  We also confront different events  that perhaps we have never examined before in our lives.  We realized we haven’t forgot certain things that troubled us and it feels uneasy to write them down on paper.  This step is not to torture anyone, instead, it is meant to establish a course of healing and recovery for the individual, others and to set right, a broken relationship with God.

We do not expect the individual to feel comfortable making these inventory lists.  But we know that its not the inventory lists that cause fear or anxiety.  The person simply does not enjoy looking back at the wreckage of the past and digging up old unresolved painful experiences.  There can not be any healing without the surgery first.  And if we had courage enough to commit the crimes, we can have the courage now to review all that we have done.  We have taken many risks to get what we wanted at any other time so we can take action now in a way that will help us, instead of hurt us or anyone else.  Uncertainty and anxiety are feelings we are used to.  We know a problem or problems exist.  This step is the key to unlocking the door to resolving the problem.

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INVENTORY OF THE GOOD WE HAVE DONE

GOOD: Worthy of respect; conforming to moral standards;well-behaved; loyal or honorable; free from injury or disease.

*******************************************************

It is very important that you list the good things you have done for others and also those good things you have done for self-growth, self-improvement.

********************************************************

APPROXIMATELY WHEN	WHAT THE ISSUE WAS	WHO WAS INVOLVED
_______________	_______________	_______________
_______________	_______________	_______________
_______________	_______________	_______________
_______________	_______________	_______________

INVENTORY OF THE EVIL WE HAVE DONE

(Our Wrongs to Others)

EVIL: Morally disapproving, sinful, wicked (morally bad or wrong, acting or done with evil intent; painful, unpleasant); bad character or conduct, causing harm; the fact or suffering; misfortune and wrongdoing; something that brings sorrow, distress or misery (caused by great loss and lasting distress, persistent pain and suffering.)

VICTIM: Someone or something killed, destroyed, injured or otherwise harmed by or suffering from some act, condition or circumstance; a person who suffers loss.

*******************************************************

This is an easy category for us.  This is about our victims, which includes our families. We have caused so many people harm, injury or great loss (and lasting distress and persistent pain and suffering) by our past actions.  What ever is recalled from your memory, list it.  As you are making your list and the issues you write down (as recalled from memory) are not listed in order, leave it exactly the way you recall it.  Example:  1992, 1980, 1995, 1990, 2001, 1984, etc., the order in which you recall things is important.

*******************************************************

APPROXIMATELY WHEN	WHAT THE ISSUE WAS	WHO WAS INVOLVED
_______________	_______________	_______________
_______________	_______________	_______________
_______________	_______________	_______________
_______________	_______________	_______________

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INVENTORY LIST OF OUR RESENTMENTS

RESENTMENT: To feel or express annoyance (disturbed or irritated) for what someone has said or done to you.   A feeling of indignant displeasure (filled with anger by something unjust, unworthy, mean) or persistent ill will at something regarded as a wrong, insult (to treat or speak with great disrespect, that hurts or is meant to hurt the feelings or pride) or injury.

************************************************************

VICTIM: Someone or something killed, destroyed, injured or otherwise harmed by or suffering from some act, condition or circumstance; a person who suffers loss.

************************************************************

Resentments are poison to us and are very dangerous.  They block the path of understanding, acceptance, healing and closure.  Resentments represent the fact we to have been the victims of others, because they have impacted our lives in an unhealthy way.  We have stored painful comments or hold on to painful experiences of both insults and injuries done to us.  This section should include those harsh comments people have made, perhaps long ago that affected us then and still affects our self-esteem or behavior today.  Also  include instances when something of ours was intentionally stolen or destroyed and it still bothers us.  Don’t forget to include relationships where someone was unfaithful-disloyal to us, without fair reason and the hurt and anger is still unresolved.  List the things that are naturally recalled from memory.  If we can ìthink of itî, no matter how far back or how current, perhaps it is an issue needing to be examined.

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APPROXIMATELY WHEN	WHAT THE ISSUE WAS	WHO WAS INVOLVED
_______________	_______________	_______________
_______________	_______________	_______________
_______________	_______________	_______________
_______________	_______________	_______________

STEP 5

We sought forgiveness from God, ourselves, and admitted to someone we trusted, the wrongs we have done.

This step should began as closely as possible to the completion of the Step Four inventory.  Nothing can be more important at this point than the individual’s ability to be honest with themselves.  If the person can be, then what they share will be honest with others.  There are so many important benefits within this step.  We first begin to renew our relationship with God by admitting the truth that we are imperfect and have made many mistakes and poor judgments.  We have long held many mistakes and poor judgments.  We have long held firmly to many beliefs (without willingness to expand what we believe) to see things differently and allow more freedom for ourselves and others.  We have attempted to control others or allowed them too often to control us.  And by doing so, these control issues affected us and our relationships with others.  We examine our faults, taking accountability for our actions.  We open some deep wounds so the poison we’ve held inside can now be released, resentments diminished and healing to begin.

We sought forgiveness from God, ourselves, and admitted to someone we trusted, the wrongs we have done.

We have not been the greatest at communicating, so this step helps us to experience the benefit of sharing how we feel.  We find that trust is possible, and that God and the one we share our experiences with does not criticize nor turn and walk away as we felt might happen.  In our 5th step, we should first privately say a prayer and then admit our faults and wrongs to God, using the 4th step inventory sheet.  Then we separately admit our resentments to God, exactly how we feel and why we feel the way we do, toward those people who brought us harm or injury.  It is also important to begin to forgive ourselves, remembering we lacked strength and control over our addiction to illegal activity.  And now in this step we hope to discover how and why we became addicted.

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STEP FIVE CONTINUED:

Now we are prepared to sit and share our inventory sheets with the person we trust.  Although this person we select is one we feel we can reasonably trust, it should be a CGA sponsor who has experience with CGA recovery and has trudged the path of change as a criminal or gangmember according to our process of change.  It takes one who has lived the experience, to guide us through the recovery process.

This step can not be avoided if genuine recovery is to be made possible. This step not only carries the spiritual power of healing through being responsible and accountable for our wrongs and resentments, it will also identify and isolate what our defects are that fueled our wrongful behavior through active addiction.  This step is the guide to true transformation of character by learning what our problems are so we can now understand and start specifically correcting our behavior.  It is common sense that what we do not change, simply will not change.  If we are sincere in our efforts to change, this step will surely be of utmost benefit.

Rarely has anyone who completed their 4th and 5th steps did not feel a great sense of relief like never before in their lives.  This step allows us to get rid of enormous guilt and shame that we would never reveal under normal circumstances.  We are now able to remove the masks of deception that claim we are in control when we know our lives have long been confusing and frustrating.  This step offers us true freedom in our minds once we come to understand who we are and how we became this way.  Under the guidance of an experienced CGA sponsor the individual will find the answers to many unanswered questions.

The benefits of this step, the understanding and spiritual integrity it can bring is something any criminal or gangmember will ultimately appreciate.

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STEP FIVE CHART

…WE SOUGHT FORGIVENESS FROM GOD…

There is no right or wrong way to pray to get God’s attention.  How long you pray or how short you pray is not at stake.  The main focus at this stage is how honest will your admission be.  As you consider being honest remember this is about your recovery.  Admit to God your wrongdoings that offended Him and brought injury, harm or lost to others.  Now read your inventory list of wrongs and separate list of resentments to God.  This is not an area of debate regarding your belief or lack of belief in God.  Just understand God believes in you to act responsibly to do your part in being honest; that is all being asked of you.

…WE SOUGHT FORGIVENESS FROM OURSELVES…

It is time you realize this recovery journey you are taking is not intended to torture you with digging up the past.  It is about putting the past in order so you can understand where you’ve been, so you can find out where you need to go in order to stop torturing yourself! Become open to forgiving yourself, no matter how wrong your offenses.  Remember that you lacked strength and control over the power of addiction which you did not understand at the time of your wrongdoing.  You may come to respect the power of addiction rather than fear it, deny it and condemn yourself.

…AND ADMITTED TO SOMEONE WE TRUSTED, THE WRONGS WE HAVE DONE…

Now go to the one you have selected to verbally share the contents of your inventory lists.  If you had the courage to commit the crime, you can probably find the courage to admit your wrongs to someone you feel you can confide in.  The more thorough and honest you can be the more accurate you can identify what caused your problems if you are following the guidance of a CGA twelve step sponsor.  Once you begin this sharing it should continue until completed without interruption.

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STEP 6:

We made a personal commitment to abandon “our” defects of character to practice decent reasonable conduct through daily actions and behavior.

We are all imperfect people living in an imperfect world.  Yet when our characters are operating more along the abnormal lines of destructive wrongdoing (evil) there is no peace, no consistent decency, and steady conflict within ourselves and with others.  Defects in our human characters are ingrained no less than spiritual principles of good are.  God has given us the free-will capacity to make choices and decisions between good or evil.  Since birth to the present, our characters have been affected and infected by beliefs, influences, experiences; what we’ve been taught and what we observed others to do or say.  Then too, we developed warped beliefs and bad habits according to a standard we felt fit our needs.  Still, we are sensitive, fragile, emotional, creatures that have difficulty understanding our own feelings and basic human qualities.

We made a personal commitment to abandon our defects of character…

This 6th step is able to reveal the common abnormal defects in our character that can consistently be detected behind our problems and experiences shared in the 4th and 5th steps.  We can be confident that these defects are accurate because our life experiences show them repeatedly flaring, poisoning our decision-making and our behavior.  It does not require any extraordinary talent or a rocket scientist to figure out that a particular defect in character or several working together in concert with each other, are the destructive force fueling our addictive behavior.  With this knowledge of the facts, why would we want to keep the same character traits that are destroying us and our relationships with others?  Why remain miserable when we have the option of living at peace with ourselves and in harmony with others?

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STEP SIX CONTINUED:

…to practice decent reasonable conduct through daily actions and behavior.

The best reliable guide in CGA to help us to isolate, identify and learn how to abandon these common defects in character accurately from an objective position of honesty is an experienced CGA sponsor.  A sponsor has trudged this path, they relate to the experiences because they have lived the destructive lifestyle addiction to criminality.  The sponsor is a guide to help us to heal from all that has haunted us, and will guide us to helping those we affected heal from what we have done that haunts them.

Defects in character are common among us.  Some of the most consistent common defects are insecurity, which can trigger other defects like low self-esteem or lack of self-confidence.  Dishonesty can cause us to become aggressive and irresponsible.  Fear is a major defect in our lives.  It is one that generally is apart of our justification for other behaviors or attitudes.  It causes us to manipulate others, to be egocentric, to become aggressive or to become consumed in self-pity.  Prejudices are dangerous because they cause us to disregard the rights or freedoms of others.  There are many more defects because anything within human behavior that does not function normal can be considered defective. And once reduced or replaced with something good or decent, then the character can function normally, at peace, without conflict.

Defects of character are what activates (turns on) and pushes the cycle of addiction.  And although defects can not magically disappear they can be consistently and ultimately replaced, abandoned, exchanged or reduced by application and use of spiritual principles which are opposite of evil/wrong.  For every destructive trait, there is a decent trait to adapt to.  Step six identified the defects so we now know more accurately the causes of our problems and how to respond appropriately.

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STEP SIX CHART

…WE MADE A PERSONAL COMMITMENT…

A commitment is something we agree to put into action to achieve.  Defects are a normal part of the character.  Defects are not limited, nor is there an identical set of defects that apply to everyone in the same way, in a routine order.  We are all different and have different life experiences.  Anything not functioning properly is defective and can be changed or corrected.

…TO ABANDON “OUR” DEFECTS OF CHARACTER TO PRACTICE DECENT REASONABLE CONDUCT THROUGH DAILY ACTIONS & BEHAVIOR

Your defects are the causes for certain destructive behaviors.  Through the guidance of a sponsor you should be able to detect what defects were causing certain destructive behaviors.  A single defect can cause a series of problems, but normally defects work in concert together, causing us to think and act in a destructive manner.  Defects flare up in a way that we behave abnormally (deviating from what’s normal or average.)  Some common defects and a brief example of their affect is:

(INSECURITY) How did we become unsure and uncomfortable around people?  Does it not cause us to be dishonest and irresponsible for ourselves and towards others?

(DISHONESTY) Why do we lie, why are we so fearful of the truth?  If we can not tell the truth, how can we expect to be considered trustworthy?

(SELFISH) Why do we want everything for ourselves without any regard for others?  If we are only concerned with self-satisfaction, we can be uncaring and unkind to others.

(IRRESPONSIBLE) Why do we have a hard time taking care of ourselves?  How many people are constantly affected by our lazy, selfish behavior?

(ANGER) Why are we so angry so often, so suddenly?  How many relationships are damaged or destroyed based upon our aggressiveness or use of violence?  If defects did not turn on the cycle of addiction we could not accomplish doing destructive evil over and over.

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STEP 7:

We honestly recognized our shortcomings whenever bad habits surfaced, promptly correcting our thinking and actions.

This step is vitally important in our genuine efforts to recover.  Step seven represents the spiritual solution to our defective problems.  The more frequently we make a choice and decision to practice the spiritual principles offered in Step Seven whenever defects surface we will ensure that those defects awakening will not have opportunity to trigger the addiction cycle to cause us to commit a crime or series of crimes.  Through constant spiritual awareness of Step Seven principles, addiction can be safely held in inactive remission.

We honestly recognized our shortcomings whenever bad habits surfaced…

Step Seven requires that we stop making excuses and start being more responsible to change what will continue to push us backwards into painful Step One problems if we are not careful.  Step Seven is God’s assurance to us that we are freely provided spiritual principles as a reliable solution whenever we are responsible enough to utilize them while God cares and protects us during our practical use of our ability to be decent and accountable for our behavior.  This is simply why God made us fully and completely human with the internal resources to utilize for our spiritual nourishment.

Promptly correcting our thinking and actions.

A shortcoming is simply being lazy and irresponsible to promptly correct or do opposite of something that is selfish, rude or simply wrong.  A shortcoming can be as simple as having a prejudicial attitude toward people throughout the day or as serious as assaulting someone.

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STEP SEVEN CONTINUED:

These shortcomings happen as an emotional response to something we are thinking, saying or  doing that affects how we are feeling.  Since we are normally in social engagement with people, in certain places, doing different things, others are constantly pushing their defective attitudes or behaviors upon us, which instantly awakens our defects as a defensive shield for self-protection.  Once our emotions have been poked or impacted by others the 7th step practice allows us to find a solution to a potential problem.

A common example of correcting a shortcoming is when someone makes a comment that is rude or offensive to us.  A natural emotional response will trigger insecurity or fear affecting how we react to what we are feeling.  The shortcoming is simply the way we allowed another person to cause us to feel and we are now allowing their opinion to become our opinion of ourselves.  The longer we allow their remark to affect us, the stronger our desire becomes to defend ourselves through some form of retaliation.  If we return wrong behavior as a challenge, the problem continues to escalate and gets out of control; and our defects are working, not any spiritual principles.

The 7th step allows the solution.  If their comment was inappropriate or simply untrue, we should remain secure, not threatened.  Our feelings will remain confident as they should be and we can act responsibly to either express how we feel assertively or ignore what they said completely without a response that may not deserve one.

We may not be in control of most things in life we wish we could be, but one thing God has given us control of is our ability to make choices and decisions.  We decide the attitude we want.  We have the power to do what’s right any time we decide to.

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STEP SEVEN CHART

WE HONESTLY RECOGNIZED OUR SHORTCOMINGS WHENEVER BAD HABITS SURFACED…

For every wrong, there is a right; and every defect has an opposite.  A problem can be corrected within the 7th step.  A shortcoming is simply a defect that is active.  The aim is to practice letting go of the defective attitude or manners promptly when they surface during the course of the day.  Through practice eventually doing good or what’s right will become normal rather than clinging to old destructive habits.  Some common examples of letting go of defects are:

(SECURITY) Is the opposite of insecurity.  When we feel insecure, promptly identify what’s causing it; act to change what you are feeling insecure about with self-confidence and self-esteem.  Be responsible for yourself and your feelings.  Why allow the opinions of others to become your opinion of yourself if its not accurate?

(HONESTY) Is the opposite of dishonesty.  Rather than say you will not lie again, simply start lying less!  If you are being responsible and accountable you won’t have to lie and wear masks to hide behind.  Change what you need to for self-improvement.

(UNSELFISH) Is the opposite of selfish.  Stop wanting everything your way or given to you.  Be responsible, earn what you need rather than what you want from others.  Give to someone and watch the expression on their face.

(RESPONSIBLE) Is the opposite of irresponsible; why should anyone be lazy?  It only causes you to be very frustrated and others to feel frustrated toward you and reject you for being a burden rather than an asset in their lives.  It feels good to take care of oneself!

(CALM) Is the opposite of anger; if you get angry it is because you are demanding someone to meet your standard or expectations.  The world is not filled with puppets.  Meet your own standard and expect more from yourself.  You can change yourself but not anyone else.  Everyone has defects, their own opinions and their beliefs and habits.  Accept people as they are, no different than you would like.

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STEP 8:

We made a thorough list of all those we had harmed, realizing how our negative actions impacted their lives, and became willing to make amends to them all.

This step will prove our sincerity to move forward in a direction of empathy and compassion along the lines of spiritual healing.  It will call upon our commitment to become more responsible and accountable for our wrongdoings and destructive lifestyle.  The key to step eight is being open-minded and willing to step on the side of the victim with respect to empathy so we can clearly understand how we impacted the lives of others we affected directly and indirectly.  This is also the step that allows us to carefully examine why we hold on to pain and anger that settles into the concrete of resentments which are unhealthy and in conflict with spiritual principles that promote forgiveness and reconciliation.

We made a thorough list of all those we had harmed, realizing how our negative actions impacted their lives…

In this step we are not attempting to predict an outcome, but rather to open a door toward a productive outcome for all affected.  This step is asking us to examine our 4th step inventory sheets carefully and thoroughly and recalling our 5th step sharing under the guidance of a CGA sponsor, we identify those individuals, in certain situations where amends and restitution appears honestly in order.  We list those individuals who hurt or injured us whether emotionally and physically to examine those resentments we have held on to.  This step is not saying we must make amends, restitution or let go of painful angry resentments.  It is merely suggesting that we act responsibly in taking accountable actions to examine the potential need to forgive ourselves, others who harmed us and all those we injured and wronged through our destructive addiction to illegal activity.

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STEP EIGHT CONTINUED:

…and became willing to make amends to them all.

We are now taking a compassionate look at our victims, not as objects but as the people we hurt wrongfully.  We also carefully examine the deep painful, angry resentments we hold against others, seeing them not as our enemies, but as people, with defective human characters; people who have problems and need help, no different than we do.  Step eight shifts us into a careful mirror of self-examination.  We must not neglect too, examining the people indirectly affected by our wrongdoing:  our family, our victims and their families and the community as a whole.  All such people indirectly injured, harmed or impacted in some way by a criminal act is considered collateral damage.  Many of these lives affected are altered forever.

Surely we have not in the least, forgot the seriousness of our wrongdoing nor those we affected.  If we cannot forget, no doubt those we impacted by our criminal behavior have not forgotten us, or what we did to them.  It is time to reach out and this step helps us to find the need within our hearts to become willing to start the healing process, seek forgiveness, make restitution when possible, and promote closure.  The lives of many have been affected by us, and now is the time to stand up with courage and prove we are becoming decent responsible persons.

The key to this step being effective is working closely with a CGA sponsor with experience.  Be willing to follow their good orderly direction.  Although we want to take the easy path and make any excuses we can to avoid responsibility, remember part of our recovery is correcting our wrongs, and if anything can go wrong now, its within our attitude and refusal to move forward with empathy and true understanding how we impacted the lives of others.

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STEP EIGHT CHART

WE MADE A THOROUGH LIST OF ALL THOSE WE HAD HARMED…

The list of those we harmed comes from our 4th step inventory sheets.  If there are others to add to this list from our 5th step work, list those persons too.  The list should be as thorough as possible.  Make no intentional excuses to try leaving anyone off the list, simply because you do not know the persons name, where they are or even in extreme cases when the victim is deceased.  Remember what is most important is your intentions of being as accurate and thorough as possible.

REALIZING HOW OUR NEGATIVE ACTIONS IMPACTED THEIR LIVES

It is necessary to put ourselves in the position we put our victims in.  Although we cannot feel exactly how they did, we can feel how we impacted their lives.  If we have held resentments toward others for what they did to us, we then can have an idea of the pain, fear and damage we caused other innocent people.  We should prepare amends letters to our victims stating the facts, and how we genuinely feel about how we intentionally wronged them.  If a crime spree, you may write a letter to your victims collectively since there is no way of knowing who they all were.  What matters most is your sincere empathy for them while feeling how you impacted their lives.

…AND BECAME WILLING TO MAKE AMENDS TO THEM ALL…

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Once these amends letters are written share these letters with your sponsor.  They can be objective in determining if your letters are appropriate .  The key is your willingness to act responsibly, taking full accountability for your behavior and actions.  In those cases of resentment, express your genuine feelings in a letter and again your sponsor will help you to work toward resolving these critical issues.

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STEP 9:

We made direct amends and restitution whenever possible to the persons we injured, except when doing so would cause further injury or harm.

The 8th step has prepared us for the 9th step.  It is important to approach this step not attempting to predict the outcome, but rather to renew our intentions.  We wish to open the door wide for genuine understanding, a healing process and ultimately forgiveness and closure.  This step is proof of our willingness to grow along spiritual lines.  To acknowledge our faults, mistakes or gross wrongs that brought harm, injury or destruction to others without cause or justification.  We are now learning about living in remorse for our victims, as wide as this realm of victims is.  As in step one we realized the first proof of our destructive lifestyle addiction was through countless relationships we damaged or destroyed.  Now in the 9th step we are doing our part to began mending broken or shattered relationships the best we can by being responsible and fully accountable for our behavior and actions.

We made direct amends and restitution whenever possible to the persons we injured…

There is not a victim who does not deserve an amends.  There has not been any damage we caused not deserving of restitution.  So our amends and restitution will always be demonstrated through our character and actions toward all others with full respect to our victims.  In those instances when we know its very appropriate to make amends and restitution and we can achieve doing so, we should respond promptly under the direction of a CGA sponsor.  Once we achieve making direct amends we simply do not forget what we have done nor forget our past victims.  We continue to change our characters and respect how lethal the addiction cycle is.  Recovery is now a lifelong process and our amends and restitution is an on-going critical part of our lifetime recovery.

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STEP NINE CONTINUED:

…except when doing so would cause further injury or harm.

In any instances when we have determined (under the guidance of a CGA sponsor) that an amends and restitution is appropriate, there is no excuse not to achieve it through CGA’s process.  Certainly, as stated above, we make direct amends ( which means we do it ourselves, not have anyone do it for us) through letters, by phone, e-mail or in person.  We also can make amends through prayer asking God to open a channel to our victims wherever they may be (and in those situations its best we not make direct contact to avoid causing further injury or harm) and we read our amends letter to our victim through prayer.  We trust in faith that God will open a spiritual channel to our victim on our sincere behalf.  Following this amends we offer a day of fasting; hungering and thirsting for our victims forgiveness for our wrongs, asking God to forgive us for having offending Him.  We stay mindful of our wrongs and our victims throughout the course of the day from sunrise to sunset.  We practice unselfishness toward others in thoughts, words and actions with respect to our victims.  At sunset we end this fasting in another humble prayer seeking God’s compassion.

In those instances of resentments that we have held against others, we are now willing to forgive those people with the same sincere understanding and desire for forgiveness that we would like from our victims.  If we want to be forgiven, we must likewise be forgiving of those who hurt or injured us.

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STEP NINE CHART

WE MADE DIRECT AMENDS AND RESTITUTION WHENEVER POSSIBLE TO THE PERSON WE INJURED…

When it is possible to make direct amends and restitution with respect to our 8th step review and our sponsor suggests that we should, it should be done without further delay or anymore excuses.  We take action ourselves without asking or expecting anyone to be a mediator or do something for us.  We did the wrong, so its our obligation to own-up to what we’ve done.  The amends should be carried out in person, by phone, letter, e-mail, whatever means is available to us.  Restitution should come in paying back a debt or property and always through on-going efforts in recovery to live decent and help others like us to recover.

EXCEPT WHEN DOING SO WOULD CAUSE FURTHER INJURY OR HARM…

There are those instances when we can not make direct amends: we may not know the victim personally, where they are at, or the person is deceased.  Or maybe in some instances we know where the person is but if we tell them the blunt facts we could seriously cause further or worse harm or injury.  (An example is betraying a spouse or stealing from a family member and they are not aware of it to this day, or they simply are not sure if you are responsible.  But if they were to find out now it could completely destroy a fragile relationship.)  In the above situations we suggest you follow the CGA 9th step fasting process.  (The complete process is outline in the CGA Sponsorship booklet or the CGA Twelve Step Book).  You may also send them a special surprise gift, like flowers, to express your compassion and show kindness without mentioning specifically what the gift is for.  You may wish to include a message: I am truly sorry for having offended you.  You and God know why your gift is being sent.

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STEP 10:

We continued daily to take a personal inventory of ourselves, and whenever wrong, had the courage to honestly admit it.

Our 10th step is the one we should constantly be alert to stay in tuned with.  It is about self-examination throughout the course of the day, watchful of our thoughts, words, actions in dealing with relationships with others, and how we are treating ourselves.

We continued daily to take a personal inventory of ourselves…

This step will be the main regulator to alert us to which steps to apply or will alert us to those steps we fail to apply to maintain balance and good judgments in our own lives.  The thrust of this step keeps us focused on evaluating our own character instead of harshly judging the behavior of others.  This step will lead us in the development of becoming humble in our manners and behavior toward others no matter what the situation may be to arise.

If we are wise in our application of the 10th step inventory, we will be very alert to monitor how we are feeling.  As human, we fail to pay attention to common sense in realizing that when we are affected emotionally by something or someone, our feelings will trigger a choice and decision between good or evil (which goes back to step three).  If our response is rude or destructive we are somehow playing in the 6th step defects.  If we are wise in monitoring how we feel this will send us into our 7th step which is the solution through spiritual principles.  Simply speaking, the 10th step tells us its our responsibility to monitor how we are thinking and feeling and to change our attitude whenever necessary.

…and whenever wrong, had the courage to honestly admit it.

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STEP TEN CONTINUED:

When we do wrong to someone, the longer it takes us to own up to our faults, we remove the personal integrity we are striving to earn through being responsible and growing along spiritual lines.  It is now our obligation to learn to treat people with the respect we would like to receive.  In recovery, we don’t treat others how they treat us but rather we treat others with respect to the way all people deserve to be treated with fairness and decency along spiritual lines.  The longer it takes us to admit our faults we put in question our genuine love and commitment to God.

This step also leads us into effective prayer and meditation.  If we are more at peace with ourselves and less in conflict with others, when we enter a private, personal space to be alone with God in prayer and meditation, then our spiritual awareness of God’s presence in our lives can be felt and we will be more inclined to understand God’s will to be decent to ourselves and caring toward others.  In doing so, our selfless attitude and actions will be shown through example of how we live the 12th step in our lives in a practical way.

The 10th step is our assurance that change is possible so long as we keep a commitment to ourselves to be responsible and accountable individuals.  This step can ensure our on-going recovery and help us to learn how to use all the steps more effectively in our daily lives.  Practical application of the steps is primarily learned through consistent use of this step.  If we apply the 10th step as our safeguard it will always point the way for us to continue our journey in recovery along spiritual lines.

Early in recovery most ask the question:  How often should I inventory?  The answer is as often as we make choices and decisions we have a need to inventory.

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STEP TEN CHART

WE CONTINUED DAILY TO TAKE A PERSONAL INVENTORY OF OURSELVES…

In a personal inventory what is most important is being alert to how we are feeling.  If we are not emotionally balanced then it is likely nothing we do during the day will flow smoothly.  Be mindful of how others affect your feelings and how you react emotionally.  This step is the key to being responsible for ourselves and reminds us to inventory (judge) the behavior of others less.  It is also the main guide for us to utilize each of the twelve steps consistently throughout the course of the day.

…AND WHENEVER WRONG…

We are careful to monitor our thoughts, what we say and certainly what we do.  If we are thinking decent then we speak kindly and our actions follow with good deeds or non-threatening behaviors.  Staying mindful of what each of the 12 steps can offer to guide you is important.  Don’t forget, use the steps whenever needed.  We are also careful to pay attention to what we fail to do that we should be doing.  Sometimes we will make excuses to be lazy or simply too selfish.

…HAD THE COURAGE TO HONESTLY ADMIT IT…

Whenever at fault, own-up to the mistake in behavior or actions and correct the situation as soon as possible within a fair reasonable time frame.  If you are upset or emotionally off-balanced it is safer to wait, give yourself time to evaluate the situation which occurred in an honest manner, then utilize the appropriate steps to resolve the matter assertively, not aggressively nor passively.

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STEP 11:

We sought to improve our “spiritual awareness” through prayer and meditation with God, asking for guidance in being decent and responsible to ourselves and more caring towards others.

The most common question throughout any point in history has been:  “Who are you, and where are you, God?”  And, one of the most simple answers that scriptures can offer to these questions is:  “Be still…and know that I AM God,” “I AM”, does this mean that God is everything we believe, and everything we do not believe?  Is God everything we can comprehend and everything we do not have the ability to comprehend?  Our 11th step helps us in CGA recovery come to realize it’s a waste of energy to simply attempt to define God or fully understand God with our limited knowledge.  But it is much more easier and comfortable to simply accept the fact God understands us - as we are.  The thrust of CGA’s 11th step is to encourage one another to develop a private, personal relationship with God.  As we change our characters through application of the 12 steps, we naturally began to improve our spiritual awareness.

We sought to improve our “spiritual awareness” through prayer and meditation with God…

As long as we are practicing the 12 steps in our lives each day we will not neglect our 11th step.  This step is the one that we should talk less about understanding and do more about practicing, because it’s a private and personal journey with each individual.  Yet, it should be practiced daily and not on a sometime basis by anyone who truly intends to show their gratitude to God, and gain peace and the power to live more spiritually through God’s mysterious ways of making His presence known to anyone who truly seeks to dwell within it.  God can be as close as we desire or as distant as we choose to walk away.  Our spiritual awareness matures as our transformation of character a long spiritual lines develops.  And our transformation can only occur through consistent and rigorous application of the 12 steps in our lives daily.

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STEP ELEVEN CONTINUED:

…asking for guidance in being decent and responsible to ourselves and more caring towards others.

The more we are decent and responsible for ourselves, we will then extend more empathy and compassion toward others.  As we began to see in the light of the spiritual, we no longer view life as dark and meaningless.  When we learn to value our lives, we treat others with respect.  God’s will is not picked or falls from the sky, it is freely given from within our hearts, outward toward others in need.  The 11th step is a journey of learning to think less - of ourselves and to live in doing more service to God by doing more for others.

No one can honestly say with complete accuracy what another individual will gain or not find from 11th step application.  Again, this step is privatre and personal in developing a relationship with God.  Yet, anyone of us in CGA who has trudged the path of recovery can say, the individual will never know what can be found, if they fail to move forward in faith and trust.  Spirituality not only includes knowledge and having a relationship with God; it also includes living spiritually, in communion with God through acts of kindness, and deeds which express unselfish love, the ultimate proof of transformation in character for a criminal or gangmember.

The most powerful spiritual awakenings are when we put what we say into action.  Some of the world’s greatest manipulators can say all the right things, but they are experts at failing to do the right thing.  We can either fake it or prove that recovery truly works.  God is waiting for our decision.

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STEP ELEVEN CHART

WE SOUGHT TO IMPROVE OUR SPIRITUAL AWARENESS…

It is very important to remember that in entering the 11th step, it is about your private and personal relationship with God.  Improving our spiritual awareness can mean many different things, for example: being aware to make better choices and decisions; to condemn less and help more; to be responsible and accountable as an individual, etc.  Yet, most importantly our prayer and meditation provides us with the opportunity of being alone with God in communion and then to remind us we live our lives to serve God, not selfishly expect God to serve us.

…THROUGH PRAYER AND MEDITATION WITH GOD…

In CGA we suggest that you practice a comfortable method of meditation in conjunction with prayer practice.  We recommend the CGA 11th step format which is outlined in separate literature regarding the 11th step.  Taking time each day to center our lives with God will greatly enhance our ability to keep balanced both emotionally and spiritually.

…ASKING FOR GUIDANCE IN BEING DECENT AND RESPONSIBLE TO OURSELVES AND MORE CARING TOWARD OTHERS…

We pray for God’s guidance in being decent and responsible individuals throughout the day and more caring toward others through applying the 12th step.  To maintain our efforts to live decent and responsible we should continue relying upon practical use of the CGA twelve steps, consistently throughout the day.  In being caring toward others, we are simply demonstrating that the CGA 12 steps work fine through our living the example that change is possible for us.  We help others, in or outside of CGA.

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STEP 12:

We, each experiencing a “spiritual awakening” by applying these steps, freely share our truth and experiences with others like us, and continue living in good orderly direction in all our affairs.

Step 12 is not the final step; it is the beginning of a new way of life.  This step is about awakening with a new attitude, about ourselves, about others, and about life in general.  It begins a more serious approach to being responsible for ourselves and far less critically judgmental of others.  We begin to find gradual truth that the 12 steps do not remove our feelings and emotions; does not make us immune from suffering or from being confronted with difficult challenges and sudden misfortunes.  The 12 steps will not make us perfect.  What the 12 steps do provide is a reliable solution to any problem, any situation that requires good sound judgment and leads us to becoming more responsible for our daily choices and decisions.  The steps remind us to keep our lives simple and to stop taking everything else with others so serious.  The 12 step assures us that life will be constantly unfolding with new experiences while we are constantly prepared to react differently and opposite of our past reliance upon destructive self-will.

We, each experiencing a “spiritual awakening” by applying these steps, freely share our truth and experiences with others like us…

The step keeps us from wanting attention and puts us in situations where we will be more open and prepared to give others attention.  This step shows us that the best definition of God’s will is through the example we live in decency, in harmony with others and willing to be of service to guide others, out of a destructive lifestyle addiction to illegal activity.

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STEP TWELVE CONTINUED:

This step does not imply that carrying the message simply means talking about how the 12 steps or recovery works, but more so being living proof that the 12 steps work just fine through our behavior and actions.  The more we naturally feel inclined to give freely or compelled to constantly help others in need, we are living proof that God still speaks and people are still listening.

…and continue living in good orderly direction in all our affairs.

The 12th step does not mean our work is over.  It is a personal awakening that our true work has just begun.  Not everyone will continue to learn the use of the 12 steps through practical application, under the guidance of a CGA sponsor.  And if they fail to do so, they may deny themselves the ability to join a rare breed of servants for God as CGA sponsors in recovery.  CGA is simply about saving lives:  one less crime, one less victim.  Yet, our CGA survival can only be assured through carrying the 12 steps to others in need, and the 12 steps can not be effectively carried without  CGA sponsors.  Our lives depend upon our spiritual integrity, and such integrity can only come through living the 12th step in our lives.

So the greatest truth we have to share is how well we set an example by the way we are living.  Who we really are - is defined in our character and actions.  It takes time to learn how to apply the 12 steps in a practical way.  That is why many of us can honestly say that recovery is a lifetime journey.

In CGA we prove that change is possible, one person at a time, collectively serving one God, who truly understands us all.

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STEP TWELVE CHART

WE EACH EXPERIENCING A SPIRITUAL AWAKENING BY APPLYING THESE STEPS…

Through thorough and honest application of the CGA twelve steps the individual will no longer remain isolated in a comma of destructive addiction, but will awaken to a deep meaningful spiritual living experience.  We will build, restore and maintain relationships with others; live as responsible persons and enjoy a private, personal relationship with God, ever widening to embrace others in need and deeper in understanding of God’s true purpose for us.

…FREELY SHARE OUR TRUTH AND EXPERIENCES WITH OTHERS LIKE US…

We find a new freedom in being honest with ourselves and with others.  We carry the message of recovery from our genuine experiences through on-going recovery in our lives.  Carrying the message includes sponsorship work, the things we do in our lives and our commitment to stay free of the destructive lifestyle and addiction to illegal activity.  It means doing the work, not merely explaining how the twelve steps work.

…AND CONTINUE LIVING IN GOOD ORDERLY DIRECTION IN ALL OUR AFFAIRS…

To continue living in good orderly direction is shown through our humbled service for God.  We think of self-less and about others-more.  It is far more than simply going through the steps into living - life according to our application of the CGA twelve steps constantly.  As we practice the twelve steps throughout the day these spiritual principles become ingrained into our characters proving that criminals and gangmembers are recovering and that we are there to help others like us change.

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HISTORY REVEALS THESE FACTS

History reveals the indisputable fact that criminals and gangmembers have been around and “infected” by the poisonous powerful force of addiction since the beginning of time.  Their behavior has “affected” everyone who comes in contact with them through their lethal, destructive lifestyles.  Criminals are of all ethnic and age groups from any social class and commit different crimes of their choice.

History reveals the fact that CGA is the first twelve step recovery program to meet the blunt needs of criminals and gangmembers in a no nonsense approach to change.  In CGA we relate to each others common experiences and understand what it takes to help each other change.

History recounts the fact that the Oxford Groups drew from the roots of scriptures certain absolute principles to guide people onto a path of living along spiritual lines during the 1800ís.  In the 1900ís alcoholics adopted the Oxford Principles.  Through a course of evolution and the need to address the problems of alcoholics the twelve steps were developed, respecting the knowledge and wisdom passed on through spiritual teachings and the Oxford groups.

At the onset of the new millennium of the 2000’s CGA has carried recovery into another level of evolution that was necessary to meet the needs of criminals and gangmembers.  Our CGA Twelve Steps place personal responsibility where it belongs, making accountability for our own actions a central component in our recovery process.  Our recovery process is simply direct and effective to change our characters.  We do not favor any particular religious beliefs, nor do we oppose any or make anyone without religious beliefs feel uncomfortable.  We simply show how to change ourselves in a practical way along spiritual lines and recommend that the individual develop a personal private relationship with God as their character transforms from indecent to decent.

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MAY THESE TRUTHS

ALWAYS BE KEPT TRUE

In CGA we humbly acknowledge the fact that there are many paths toward change.  We respect these noble paths and encourage anyone to take advantage of what works for themselves.

In CGA we know how we approach recovery is reliable and direct.  We trust our CGA path to follow a course of change that is right for us and works effectively for us.

WE offer no miracle cure in CGA, yet we can say, miracles do happen in CGA because people who were said to be destructively hopeless and helpless are changing their once broken, infected characters.  As we do many lives are being saved.

We believe the deaf, now hear… the blind, now see..the lame, are walking right…the tattooed lepers, are being cleansed… that criminals and gangmembers are now having the good news shared with them, no matter where they are, or what they do or have done.  CGA is now their light of hope.  GOD grant, that it may always be so.

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TENACITY,

Sticking to what we have to do to make it is the -  key to Success

- Richard M.

CGA-083

If you are interested in obtaining further information on CGA

or wish to start a CGA group in your community and/or

institution you my contact us at:

CGA Services, Inc.

2049 South Santa Fe Avenue

Los Angeles, CA 90021-2919

E-mail: petermeji@aol.com

Website: www.CGAnon.org

Phone: (213) 438-4833

Fax:     (213) 489-7601

CRIMINALS & GANGMEMBERS ANONYMOUS, INC.